Leadsplaining: When 'Helping' Doesn’t Help
We’ve all been there—someone shares their struggles, and instead of listening, we jump in with advice. This phenomenon, much like mansplaining, is what I call "Leadsplaining." It’s when leaders, eager to help, offer unsolicited advice, often doing more harm than good. (I won’t win any awards for ingenuity, but it does what it says in the tin).
The Problem with Leadsplaining
When a team member comes to you with a problem, especially related to mental health, it’s natural to want to help. But jumping in with advice can minimise their experience, increasing feelings of shame and isolation. If they’ve already tried what you suggest, your well-meaning advice may only remind them of how stuck they feel.
Leadsplaining sends the message that their struggles are simple or that they haven’t done enough. In trying to help, you might inadvertently strip away their sense of control.
The Unseen Consequences
Leadsplaining can add to a team member’s pain, making them feel inadequate or judged. This can create an environment where they feel unsafe to share their struggles, leading to isolation and worsening mental health. It can also damage team cohesion and the leader’s reputation.
Why Listening Beats Lecturing
So, what should leaders do instead? The answer is simple: listen, don’t lecture. Create a safe space for team members to express what they’re going through. Ask open-ended questions like, “What can I do to help?” or “What have you tried so far?” This shows that you’re interested in understanding their experience, empowering them to find their own solutions.
Creating Safety and Space for Recovery
Leaders should foster a culture where it’s okay to struggle, where people know they won’t be judged, and where they can take the time they need to recover. Offer support when asked and be patient as they navigate their challenges. Be a supportive ally, believing in their ability to overcome obstacles.
Empowering and Enabling Recovery
Your role isn’t to fix your team members’ problems but to empower them to find their own solutions. Transformational leaders motivate and encourage, helping team members see their strengths. Provide resources, brainstorm ideas together, or simply be a sounding board. Let them lead the way while you offer guidance.
When leaders listen instead of leadsplaining, they build trust and respect within the team. Team members who feel heard and cared for are more likely to feel safe, motivated, and perform at their best. This approach enhances individual and team performance and strengthens the leader’s reputation.
Leaders don’t need to fear these conversations. By creating safe spaces, you motivate, encourage, and empower your team. Lead like people matter, and you’ll build your reputation as a caring and competent leader. It’s a win-win.
If you want to know more about this, or you want to test your skill levels take my leadership survey https://www.markbutler.com.au/leaders-skills-self-assessment - realising that a high score can very often suggest a ‘self-reporting bias’ and isn’t always a good thing.
If you want to discuss how to lift your leaders skills in this and develop peak performance and engagement from your teams, check out this program https://www.markbutler.com.au/people-leaders
Or, we can, in the good, old-fashioned way, have a chat together. https://calendly.com/markbutler1/30min jump in here and find some time that suits you.