“Pineapple has NO BUSINESS on a pizza!”

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Can I risk having a different opinion here?

If you have been following my most recent blogs, you will know I have been talking about the work I do with high performing teams, in fast-moving environments, and under high pressure.

In all my years working in Performance and the psychology of feeling valued, I have found three things at play.  Safety, Trust and a sense of Belonging.  This is the most fundamental and basic truth of wellbeing and a positive mindset.  When they are in sync, great things happen.

But they are challenged when we are stuck in crappy situations.  More particularly, I think about the emotional response or reaction we have when we feel unsafe, or we feel like we don’t belong.  And how easy the fix can be when simple, caring conversations occur.

Bessel van der Kolk (world-leading trauma expert) says that feeling safe in the company of others is the single most important aspect of good mental health.  He says that safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.

This model below is the cornerstone of what I do to help people achieve this.  And to help leaders to be comfortable with uncomfortable topics. 

Let me unpack this a little.  We often hear people saying that trust is the most important element, but I believe unless we feel safe, trust will never cement itself.  And make sure to tune in on my next few blogs where we will explore the other elements of the model and their intersections.

I am not talking about physical safety right now, or even psychosocial safety (those topics are for another day), but psychological safety.  The belief that you can speak up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes without fear of repercussions. “What that really means is I can do my job without fear of humiliation or punishment,” leading expert, Amy Edmondson says.  Where it is both safe to do so, and worth it, says Stephen Shedletzky, author and leadership expert.

Being able to bring bad news to the boss or team.  Being able to say that pineapple has NO BUSINESS on a pizza!  (There, I said it!) And not feel that the team will pillorise or punish you for your opinion.

The team has to be able to express their ideas and opinions, even when they go against the grain.  In fact, especially so then!  We need to be able to take risks, take ideas right to the edge where innovation happens, and admit mistakes without fear of the team ‘playing the player’ and not the ball.

It is becoming increasingly more common these days for leaders to be so time poor as to only ever provide negative feedback.  This is not open communication and does not result in a willingness to do better or try harder.  It results in negative reactions, feelings of persecution, being singled out, favouritism, and destroys leader reputations.

To feel safe, we have to feel like we are treated fairly.  Fairness is more valued that status in a team.  If the team is really going to gel, and everyone feel like they belong to something great, we have to feel safe.

This safety is the bedrock of connection, and the beginning of trust in our team and in our place in that team.

I will be sharing a lot more on these ideas as I continue to research and write my next book (due out in October 2024).  It is called ‘What’s Up – How to Have Critical, Caring Conversations.  It is a leaders’ guide to getting comfortable with uncomfortable conversations when dealing with the mindset and mental wellbeing of their teams. 

(The keen eye of those who follow my blogs will recognise it as a companion to my last book, Up Yours, The Pursuit of Radical Self-care.)

The Venn model is the backbone of this new book and I hope you will join me as I peel away the layers in coming blogs.

Helping employees know they matter, by helping leaders show they care.  This is my mission now.

Please feel free to share this blog with anyone you feel would appreciate and value it.  And reach out if you want to have a no-obligation conversation about developing caring leaders and lifting performance and connection in your teams.

#canwetalk #critcalconversations #caringconversations #safety #trust #belonging #mattering